Who was really behind the coronavirus, a tell-all story from Undercover Agent Fowler

In this exclusive interview with Royal Air Force Undercover Agent Fowler, find out who was really behind the Coronavirus worldwide outbreak.  (satirical article)

Many of you know who Agent Fowler is.  He has been serving in the Royal Air Force since World War II.

According to Fowler, “Politics is like playing poker.  Regular poker, online poker. It doesn’t make a difference.  It is not about what cards you are holding, but it is the distraction and the bluffing.  Pushy American, always showing up late for every war. And fighting the wrong enemy on top of it.”

I will just let Fowler tell his story in his own words.


“Arabs blaming the US.  The US blaming the Chinese.  The Chinese blaming everybody else.  Don’t you see that it is a big game of poker?  Everybody is bluffing. Nobody is holding a full house, and everybody is looking in the wrong direction.

Stupid Americans.  Too much infighting with each other to see who the real enemy is.

It’s the chickens!

I was hired by the British Royal Air Force to infiltrate the chickens in Tweedy’s farm.  The British Royal Air Force knew that the chickens were planning a big escape, but they were not sure at the time how big the escape was going to be.  Was it going to be just one chicken, all of the chickens in this one farm, or was it going to become a worldwide event?

At first, it looked like it was going to be a local event with just one chicken planning to escape.  Then the plans advanced to include the whole farm. Once this group got their freedom, they relocated to a deserted island.  I can’t tell you the exact location, because it is R.A.F. confidential information.

But from this base of operation, they are expanded.  It was a farm escape here and a laboratory escape there.  But things changed when they started to do reconnaissance research in the US and China.  The two missions overlapped.

At first, their goal was noble.  They wanted to free fetal chicken eggs.

Across the United States, chickens are laying eggs at secret farms.  Few people know where the farms are kept, but Rocky and Ginger found out.  Each day hundreds of thousands of these eggs — future baby chickens — are trucked to special guarded facilities.  These eggs are protected by guards and multimillion-dollar security systems.

These are not the eggs that people are eating for breakfast.  These are eggs for the yearly flu vaccines. This has been going on for the last 80 years.  Each year 174.5 million doses of the flu vaccine were distributed across the US. 82% of them are egg-based.  That is around 140 million eggs that are used for flu vaccines. Over 80 years, those are a lot of baby chicken eggs.

Those eggs were future baby chickens.  

Rocky and Ginger and the rest of them, it broke their hearts just thinking about all of those baby chickens that would never be born.  They did not want humans to get rid of the flu vaccines. They just wanted them to use something else to incubate the flu vaccine.

But the eggs were too heavily guarded.  By the US military mind you. The best that there is.

But things changed when they visited the open markets in Wuhan, China and started to talk to the live animals at the Wuhan open market that was going to be slaughtered.  At first, they were doing what they always did, freeing an animal here, an animal there, and generally trying to cause confusion.

But things changed when they met some bats that had come from the research laboratories not far from the open market.  They learned that the laboratory was doing research on the Coronavirus and vaccines. The scientists had learned that vaccines cannot be grown in chicken eggs, so they were trying to develop other methods that did not involve any animals.  They also learned that once these techniques are developed for the coronavirus, it can be used for the flu vaccine as well.

But these researchers were not doing so well in the area of vaccine development.  It was taking too long, so they decided to get the American involved.

The chickens and the bats came up with an idea that the bat would infect a human with the coronavirus in him by biting him and through other bodily fluids.  The chickens knew that once the virus spread to a man that it would spread to other people and eventually Americans would be infected and the Americans would develop a vaccine that did not require the use of eggs, and then they would apply that technique to the production of flu vaccines that did not require the use of eggs.

Their intentions were good, but they are only chickens.  They really did not understand the science behind what the researchers were looking into.  The chickens had no idea that their actions would cause a worldwide pandemic that would cause economic markets to crash, people to die, and the overall panic that is currently happening.

They just wanted the Americans to develop a flu vaccine that did not require the use of eggs in order to save the baby chicken eggs.”

Interviewer: “Is there anything that the chickens would like to say to the American people?”

Fowler: “The chickens are deeply sorry to the American people and to all of the people of the world.  They really did not know that in trying to save the chicken eggs that they would cause this much damage and loss of life.  But as true soldiers, they are ready to accept whatever punishment President Trump feels is appropriate.“

Interviewer:  “I have heard rumors that the chickens have signed a contract with Aardman Animations to tell their story.  Is that true?”

Fowler: “Yes that is true, but the details are being worked out.  The intention is that the profits from the movie will go towards offsetting the costs of what happened through their actions.  But the release date is unknown at this time.”